Forgive Me
by Violetrose25
Summary: Set immediately after T.R.A.C.K.S. So SPOILERS! Coulson deals with the guilt, regret, and fear after the tragic events of their last mission. He wants to apologize. He wants to tell her how important she is to the team. And more importantly... he wants to tell her how much she means to him. (M for smut and language, read review and enjoy!) P.S. I OWN NOTHING! NO LONGER A TWO SHOT!
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little two shot that I had in mind after T.R.A.C.K.S. I just love this this pairing and I think it might have a chance at coming true. Could be wrong though. Anyway, enjoy! And as I mentioned... SPOILERS!**

* * *

Everybody was devastated. Skye was in a coma, body temperature dropping with little hope for recovery unless she got to a medical facility stat. The entire bus was solemn and quiet with the weight of it all.

Ward slammed his fist against the wall in anger. Sure it made his knuckles bleed, but really, he couldn't give a damn. Skye was a great asset, she was one hell of a hacker, and... despite all her authority issues and sometimes obnoxious behavior... Skye was his friend. A damn good one too. She shouldn't have even been in there!

The agent felt pressure against his shoulder, fingers squeezing gently.

"Agent May." He said directly.

"... This isn't your fault, Ward. Don't blame yourself."

He grit his teeth. "I don't."

Turning to face her, this woman he'd been having "casual" sex with, Ward set his gaze behind her. Behind to the sullen Senior agent standing over Skye's unconscious form in that tube.

Melinda followed his eyes, and sighed. "Don't blame him either. It was Skye's choice-"

"She shouldn't have even been on this mission! It was too dangerous from the start. If Coulson had made her stay-"

May grabbed both of his shoulders. "Skye is not a child. She knew what she was getting into, we all did. If anybody is to blame, it's the son of a Bitch who shot her. Don't blame Agent Coulson for this. He's guilty enough as it is."

Ward was struggling to contain his rage. White knuckles and tight jaw, he stood without moving.

"Come on, let's go and train. It'll make you feel better." She offered.

"Will it now?"

"You need to blow off steam. And using Coulson as a punching bag won't help you with anything. So come on." She grabbed his arm, dragging the infuriated Agent away.

Coulson took no notice of any of this. All he could register was this beautiful brunette lying on the table beneath him. It was painful to look at. She was just so young and full of potential... And he was responsible for this.

He should have been there, she shouldn't have had to go in there alone... now look at Skye. The agent sighed deeply.

"I'm so sorry Skye. Just so, so sorry."

It's not like he's never dealt with losing agents before, because it'd be suspicious if he hadn't... it was just that it never got easier. The regret, the questioning of self worth, and the overwhelming guilt.

He knew everybody else was still reeling from this... this horror... And that he was the senior agent on this plane. So he was the one that had to be strong. But... Not now. Everything inside him was hurting too much. All he could do was stand over her, watching. She was gorgeous, a Sleeping Beauty. Only a kiss wasn't going to wake her up.

Coulson felt tears well up behind his eyes. He was afraid for her. If she died, he'd never forgive himself. Not like he was going to if she DID survive, but it'd be worse because he never had a chance to tell her... to tell her... he sighed. IF she lived, then she'd constantly be in mortal danger. This clairvoyant probably knew the truth about how much Skye meant to him, truly. This made Skye an easy target for all the enemies she and the team had to face.

And he couldn't stand it. He felt helpless. And... if she died... Coulson didn't know how he'd cope. The horror of finding out about his own past was emotionally exhausting and traumatizing enough, but the death of somebody he... it'd destroy him. Especially after losing his beloved cellist. Coulson didn't think he'd go as far as to have Fury... no. Never. He'd never let anybody go through what he went through.

For now it was best to focus on getting her to a doctor. Melinda had put the bus on autopilot, punching in the coordinates of the nearest SHIELD base. They'd be there in a couple hours.

The only thing anybody could do until then was wait.

* * *

She'd been in the SHIELD hospital for two days now. Everybody was biting their nails with anxiety. Fitz and Simmons were pacing about their little Science Box just trying to keep busy. May and Ward had been sparring nonstop, save for food and sleep. One could cut the unbearable tension with a knife. And, of course, Agent Coulson was sitting patiently outside her room, scarcely moving for anything.

Nobody dared stop him either. People weren't stupid enough to fuck with the Agent who came back from the dead. So, with barely a candy bar on his stomach and no sleep since before the mission, Coulson waited.

Skye was in stable condition, at least. The doctors had given her a blood transfusion and her body temperature was returning to normal. The gunshots had caused a slight infection, but some antibiotics were taking care of that. They had barely missed any major arteries... so in a way, she was very lucky. Right now it was just a matter of waiting for her to wake up.

That seemed to be a theme here. Waiting. Coulson was sick of waiting. Waiting for answers, waiting for the truth, waiting to see if the woman he was in love with was going to come out of a coma...

And there it was. Love. Coulson was in love with Skye. Against protocol, against logic, against rationality... he was head over heels. Maybe it was because she had so much heart. Or perhaps it was because she reminded him of a young Melinda. Or maybe it was just that she was so caring towards others, despite her faults and quirks.

He didn't know when it had happened, not exactly. Does anybody really know the exact moment they fall in love? But the agent did know that it had been building up for some time. This was the first time he'd actually admitted it to himself. And what a painful revelation that was! Wow Coulson, talk about some shitting timing!

Looking into the room, he stared at the much younger woman inside. The color had returned to her face, pink cheeks and pinker lips. Skin less ghostly white and more peach. Even her hair seemed more shiny. Coulson thought... if Skye lived, should he tell her how he feels? It was one of those questions that just eats at you with hypothetical scenarios going in every which way. He was pretty good at calculating reactions, both emotional and physical. It came with the job and so many years of experience. But when there was an emotion as irrational and wonderful as love... all those skills went flying out the door.

Fear makes fools of us all.

So he continued this debate in his mind for some time. Of course, as it seems with fate, timing had decided to screw Coulson over. Just as he was deciding maybe... JUST maybe... it might be the right and mature thing to do and tell her... Skye began to wake up.

It started with an increased, normal heart-rate. That should've been a red flag. Then the movement of her pupils behind her eyelids. A twitching finger or toe. More movement in her arms. Back. Neck. And finally...

"Hello?" Coulson heard. "Where am I?"

His heart froze. Oh shit. She was awake.

AUTHORS NOTE: I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED SO FAR! LET ME KNOW IF IT WAS OUT OF CHARACTER OR ANYTHING. I JUST WANTED TO WRITE THIS SO BAD... ANYWAY THANKS FOR READING! MORE TO COME! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Skye was trapped in darkness. She could neither see nor hear, and all feeling was gone save the aching in her abdomen. And in this darkness, all she had to keep her company were her vague but recognizable memories. Faces. Skye knew faces. A million passed through Skye's head as memories of her childhood and countless foster homes flew by. None of them meant anything. The woman needed something to grab onto. There was some guy she used to know... didn't remember the name. Asshole? That was it, Asshole. Though she didn't know this, the amount of painkillers running through her system was clouding her mind substantially.

An older brunette woman, Asian. Fighter. Something in the Spring...

Uh... younger woman. British? Science... She liked science. A lot. And she had a friend... no, boyfriend. No... Skye didn't know what he was to the British woman. They were her friends, she thought. Hmmm...

A guy. Younger. Older than science guy, but young. Cute? Hard-ass. Yeah... he was a hard-ass. That she knew. He was her friend too. Closer than the science ones. This man was a fighter too. He liked May. Didn't love her. But liked her a lot. Skye felt a bit safer as she thought of these faces. People. There was one more. A man. An older man. The oldest of this group of faces. Skye's mind was getting clearer. Fighter...

Gentle smile. Blue-grey eyes. There were a few wrinkles, but not many. Stress wrinkles. Blonde hair. Dark blonde. Slightly receding. She trusted this one... Trusted him more than most. Skye missed him. She wanted to see him..._Beep._ What was his name? The letters AC came to mind. AC? Air-Conditioning?..._Beep._

She remembered something else. Secret Agency?... _Beep. _Yeah, yeah that's it. That's where she worked. Skye worked at a secret agency. Is that what happened? Mission gone bad? Damnitt what was that guy's name?! Where was she? What the hell was that beeping sound she was hearing?! Wait...

Skye was beginning to feel things. Like... really feel things. There was softness beneath her. Air above. Cold air. Air-Conditioning. She began to move her limbs, feebly and clumsily. A toe here, a finger there...

A leg! She twitched her leg! Uh, okay. What else? Arms? Skye concentrated, moving her extremities as best as possible. It was a weak attempt, but she could lift it from the softness. That was good. So now there was the task of finding out where exactly she was. There was light around, that much Skye knew. That constant beep.

Skye carefully but eagerly began to test her eyes. Moving them back and forth. And finally, after some time...

Opening them.

* * *

Coulson ran into the room as soon as he heard Skye's voice.

"Where am I?" She asked, looking towards him.

"You're in a hospital."

"Oh..." She said weakly.

Coulson got a little closer. "Do you... do you know who I am?"

If there was anything one could count on in a hospital, it was the power of morphine. Skye might not even recognize who he was. He thought he could see the wheels of thought turning in her head.

"... Air-Conditioning?" She asked, as if that was possibly the name she was looking for.

He couldn't help but smile at her answer. "No. I'm not an air-conditioner. My name is Phil. We work together."

"I know we work together." Skye replied. "I remember."

The look of puzzlement on Coulson's face was almost amusing. "Then why did you call me-"

"Those were the letters that came to mind. AC. Air Conditioning. What do those letters mean?"

"It's a nick-name you gave me. AC stands for Agent Coulson."

"Coulson! That's it!" She exclaimed weakly. "Uh... what happened? Why am I in a hospital?"

Phil approached her bed, knowing this wasn't going to be pleasant. Well it wasn't easy to tell somebody that they were nearly killed. He took a deep breath. Just get this over with.

"You were shot during a mission."

"Shot?"

"Yes. You've been in a coma for days. I uh... Skye I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why are YOU sorry?"

He sighed, putting his head into his hands. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have... you shouldn't have gone in alone..."

Skye clumsily put her arm out, placing it delicately upon his shoulder. Coulson looked up.

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault. No blaming yourself. Do the... others know I'm okay?"

"No... I guess I should tell them."

"Yeah. The...science people... and spring and...uh... hard-ass are probably worried." Skye said, agreeing.

The agent couldn't help but smile once again. Skye was too cute when she was out of it.

"The 'science people' are Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz." He clarified. "I don't who Spring is, though."

"She has a name like spring."

"Like...May? Melinda May?" Coulson offered.

She snapped her fingers repeatedly, nodding. "Yeah. That's it. May!"

"Uh-huh. Now it's not hard to figure out who hard-ass is, though. You're thinking of Grant Ward, your Superior Officer."

She nodded once again. Skye's eyes were already rolling listlessly. She was tired. Coulson watched with a curious, loving fascination as she drifted into semi-consciousness.

"I'm gonna go talk to the others, okay?"

She nodded.

"Okay."

Coulson began to walk out, quietly and gently, when Skye said something just as he was about to exit her room. "What, Skye?" He turned.

"I said... don't go for too long. I want you with me. I miss you."

That just about made Phil's heart melt, against all logic. She was sincere in this wish, Skye was far too drowsy for her usual sarcasm and quick wit. The poor girl genuinely didn't want the agent to leave. This made Coulson turn back around and rush to give her a warm hug. Skye weakly put her arms around his shoulders, snuggling against him innocently.

"I won't go, Skye. I promise."

"Okay... thank you..."

And with that, she fell asleep, arms still around him. Coulson laid them at Skye's side, pulling the blanket up to her chest. Now he tip-toed out, knowing the rest of the team would be anxious to hear that she was awake.

AUTHORS' NOTE: OKAY, SO I DECIDED TO ADD A THIRD CHAPTER. I JUST CAN'T FIT IT ALL INTO TWO. SO... ONE MORE CHAPTER TO COME! THE FINALE! THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING AND SUPPORTING SO FAR! HOPE THIS WAS GOOD!


	3. Chapter 3

Skye awoke from yet another nightmare. She was in a cold sweat, eyes widened and panicked. Her hands were clutching the scars. There were no real images in these dreams, just colors and sounds and feelings. Warmth pooling against her flesh as all life drained from the poor hacker. Red. So much red. The feeling that everything was getting colder. The darkness, splotches of blackness in her vision.

A frantic heart beating, protesting against the death... Because that's what it was... sweeping over Skye. She remembered the tears falling down her face. No, no, no. Too early too fast too much left to do and so much left unsaid. And of course, the pained voice of her eldest officer.

"No oh no oh no. OH NO. Skye... I'm sorry. Oh no. Oh God..." his hands fluttered over the wounds.

She felt a strange wave of emotion. A sense that she couldn't leave. She wanted to stay. For... some reason. But the darkness kept persisting. Clouded her mind, seeped through it all... What was it she needed to say? Why were her limbs growing so heavy?

This was when Skye woke up. Every night. For three fucking weeks. Usually she'd just lie on her bunk, staring at the ceiling until morning. But for some reason, Skye wanted to get up.

In nothing but a pair of really short night shorts, and a thin T-shirt that hung off the shoulder, Skye meandered through the plane. Up the spiral steps she went, not quite sure where she was going. It wasn't hunger, her stomach wasn't growling. Not thirst. But... maybe alcohol. Something to drown her sorrows in?

That sounded right. So she climbed the stairs to the bar. Where, apparently, she wasn't alone in the idea. There on a lonely stool, bottle of scotch in hand, was Coulson.

Skye Sat down beside him.

"Hey." She greeted sadly.

"Hey."

"So... riding the midnight train, huh?"

"Yeah. It's uh... it's been a rough few weeks."

Skye chuckled bitterly. "You're telling me."

"We almost lost you."

She nodded. "I know."

There was a long pause. "If it helps... I know what it's like. To die. So you can talk... if you want. Because I get it."

Skye put a hand tenderly over his. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

"It's not easy dealing with it." Skye admitted. "I- I've had nightmares."

Coulson sighed, taking a deep sip of his drink. He knew the feeling all too well. The night sweats. Gasping. Heart pounding. It made him physically sick to his stomach to know that Skye was going through the same thing. He wouldn't wish this on anyone. Well... except Ian Quinn. And Loki.

"I'm sorry Skye. I hate this for you."

"Why are you sorry? It's not like this is your fault."

"But it is. I should've known... this wasn't a mission to send you on."

Skye grimaced. "I'm a grown woman, and I can make my own choices."

At this point, he stood up, pacing about the floor. "I'm still the superior officer. And I am responsible for everyone on the team."

"Come on, don't blame yourself for me getting shot. That's not fair to yourself."

"But-"

"And no buts. I don't want to hear another word of the self-depreciating routine. I've been there and it isn't healthy." Skye softly commanded.

He sighed. "You... you don't know what I went through. Rationally I know it's not my fault... it's nobody's fault but the shooters'. The rest of me, though... God I couldn't. I didn't move from the hospital."

"I know." She whispered. "And that means a lot."

"But that doesn't change the fact that... that I feel guilty. I'll always feel guilty. And God, was I scared. I didn't know what I'd do if you... died."

"Everybody was scared. It's okay."

Coulson paced faster. "But you don't understand Skye."

"Then explain. Get it out."

"This wasn't about the team. This was about me. Me and my... Skye..."

She gave a patient smile. "Take your time."

Taking a deep breath, Coulson stood over Skye. He knew this was stupid, this was wrong, and would probably get him into a lot of trouble. But... He couldn't very well keep it to himself. If Skye died again, he'd never forgive himself for not telling her the truth.

So it was now or never. Coulson grabbed Skye by the shoulders, standing her up. "I need to tell you something, and I don't know how to say it. So... I'm sorry for this too."

And with that, he pulled her in and kissed her. It was gentle, but firm. Skye was so taken aback that she couldn't even process the situation for a few minutes. What... was Coulson kissing her? His hands were running through Skye's hair, kneading and twisting. And it felt... kind of nice.

Skye did not pull away.

Okay, for the record, at first, kissing your superior officer is awkward. Like really, really awkward. When their lips met, it wasn't passionate. It was simply two people incredibly close together. Kinda stuck together at the mouth.

However, it wasn't as if she didn't want to kiss him. And she didn't do it out of pity. It was genuine interest. Just... it was a bit weird. This was why Coulson pulled away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I just thought you should know that I... have feelings for you. But I know that was... I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay, A.C.."

"No it's not. That was inappropriate."

"But I don't..." She started.

Coulson put a finger to her lips. "I swear I won't do anything like this again. I promise."

Skye heard the sadness in his voice. He had no self-confidence. Didn't even think she could care for him that way. And it hurt her. Skye didn't wait to correct his assumptions in words. Skye kissed him again. Deeply. She wrapped her hands around his waist. Coulson was surprised, shocked by this reaction. But, quite quickly, he reciprocated. One hand snuck up her leg, slipping beneath the shorts. Skye gasped into their lip-lock. This time the awkwardness had passed and was replaced by passion.

She struggled to get his night shirt up. Though only managing to hike it up to his chest, Skye did learn something quite interesting about her superior. He had muscles. She ran her hands along the taut, firm flesh. Sure, he was no twenty year old, but damn. Well, a life a kicking ass and taking names (so to speak)... that had to be one hell of a work-out.

Coulson grabbed the hem of the garment and removed it himself. At this point, he took Skye by the hand.

"My room?" He asked hesitantly.

His voice was still filled with uncertainty. Skye smiled.

"Your room." She confirmed.

* * *

As soon as the door was closed, they picked up where they left off. In the darkness of his room, the two could enjoy the sensations more. Less to see, but more to feel. Skye removed her shirt as she tried to find the bed. It was near pitch-black in here, so finding the furniture was a bit difficult. Plus she was walking backwards, between removing her top and kissing the agent. Evidently, the backs of Skye's knees seemed to have a special power to diving where the bed was.

She fell backwards onto the mattress, pulling Coulson along with her. They both laughed at this. Skye went to work on getting those damn sweats of his off, while he snaked his fingers under the waist of her shorts. As the fabric slid down, Skye began to have doubts. Was it going to be weird in the morning? Oh God, what was everybody else going to think?! May might have something to say about this... then again she is sleeping with Ward... but according to them that IS just sex, and this was something mo-

"OH!"

Coulson slid his hand between Skye's legs and ran his fingers delicately over her sensitive spot. Fuck it, that felt good.

She was naked beneath him now. Completely. There was a small window above Coulson's bed, moonlight shining down on them. It made his skin a beautiful shade of ivory. And it highlighted the scar on his chest. Skye brushed her fingers across it.

"My God." She whispered.

"I know." He replied, touching the small bullet wounds Skye had acquired.

With that, the two went back to what they were doing. The sweats, along with the boxer shorts underneath, were gone. Skye groped the skin of his back, making her way down... he was firm there too. She spread her legs, eager to have him inside her, but Coulson pulled away.

"Wait."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Just a minute."

He leaned over, knowing there was a drawer in the nightstand that had what he was looking for. Coulson fumbled through the random items, until coming across the little square.

"Condom." He clarified.

Skye giggled.

"What's so funny?" The agent asked.

"You're a SHIELD agent."

"Yes. And?"

"I feel there's a missed opportunity for a condom endorsement somewhere. Like... you guys should have your own brand or something." Skye said, still giggling.

He smiled into the darkness. "I'll have Fitz and Simmons get right on that."

Coulson ripped open the package, and applied it. Now he returned to Skye, climbing back on top of her. She was moving earnestly, all but begging for him. It was driving the agent insane with desire. He couldn't wait. Skye gasped as the older man slid into her. Oh GOD, that was big. He began moving slowly, pulling out just a bit before slipping back in. Skye moaned.

Pressed heavily against her clit, the agent groaned. She was so fucking warm. Tight. It had been... wait, how long had it been? Months? A year? It'd been a long time. Not since... the cellist. Oh no, oh no, bad memories. Apparently Skye noticed something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" She asked. "Phil?"

Did she just-

"Did you just..."

"Well... it is your name."

"But you've never called me that before."

"I wasn't with you like this before. I wasn't in love with you before."

"What?" He was shocked. "What did you just say?"

"I- I love you."

"Oh God..." He whispered.

And that was all he needed to proceed. Phil was all but slamming into her, hitting that little sweet spot inside her. Skye was making these animalistic noises, beautiful and loud in his ears. She gripped the flesh of his arms as that tight coil of energy built. Skye's vision was becoming blurry...

"OH... OH GOD!" She screamed as she came.

The agent was close too, coming only a few thrusts after Skye was expended. Collapsing beside her, Phil caught his breath. Skye scooted over, snuggling into his frame. It was nice to be held. To be loved. Maybe that's all the two really needed to begin the real healing from their injuries.

... Love.

AUTHORS NOTE: WELL I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED! YEAH I KNOW IT GOT SAPPY AT THE END, BUT HEY. I WANTED TO END ON A HAPPY NOTE. ANYWAY, THANKS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING!


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